Monday, March 4, 2013

Earning My Way Back to Center

"We carry a center
that is always returning."
Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

It's March already and I want to slow down the days. After a month of travel and a then a full month of healing from that, I want to return to my center. Last weekend was the first of the year I've been home with not much planned and also feeling well. March came in like a lamb here and the weather was wonderful. Also I'm still feeling the glow of three peaceful quiet days in Yosemite last week. All auspicious signs in this new year of the snake.

To maintain this sense of peace and wellbeing, I'm on a computer diet. I go out to the world in the morning and email, google, write, and turn it off until after dinner. If I don't turn it off completely I find I'm checking one thing and another and an hour's gone by. When I'm moved to communicate, I write a note on the paper that covers my screen. Two days in, so far so good. I'm also rearranging my schedule so at least three days a week I can start the day off being creative: writing, painting, drawing. I did this the month of December and it was wonderful to connect with my center in such a solid way each morning.

Lately, since I've been healing body pain, I've been too in touch with fear that I won't get better, and then it is so easy for me to spiral downward and inward to no good purpose. This is not my center. I'm going to replace that with meditating so I have a healthy place to return to if I'm knocked off my center by errant thoughts and I will start listening again to a resting program I have. Just five minute segments can bring me back to myself.

Baruch ata adonai...I feel like I'm in a tug of war, pulling myself back to the light. I know how to do this and right now I have the will to do it. Help me return to my center where I am true to myself. Thank you. Amen

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