"Trying to be what you think everyone wants you to be--while at the same time convincing yourself this is the way you really are--can be exhausting." Alice Steinbach
What with being a wife, mother, grandmother, friend, sometimes I forget who I am: brave or timid, outgoing or shy, loving or withholding, smart or out of it, creative or trite, needed or redundant, truth teller or prevaricator, confident or still in high school. Sometimes the me that is reflected back through other's eyes amuses, shocks, surprises me. The holidays in particular can knock me off kilter, so today I'm unplugging myself from being anyone at all. I hope to talk to no one, even myself, for hours at a time, then take a shower and know that the true me can take off in many directions and it's best if I'm amused and loving until I sluice out the real me again.
Baruch ata adonai...today may I forget who I want to be or who I think others expect me to be and know living life as myself will come naturally if I don't use too many big words to describe it. Amen