Monday, December 10, 2012

Early Morning Musings

I'm continuing on with my intention to travel lighter, and now I can see I'm going to have some empty cabinets and closets with gaping holes, and also that I'm going to have another kind of stuff to deal with. Does having a lot of stuff make me feel grounded, does it define my stability, my place, and does releasing it make me feel better or does it make me feel like I've lost something vital or that I could lift off, that my place here is only defined by my stuff? Lots of questions.

As I'm writing, I'm realizing it clearly defines who I used to be, and each has a memory connected to who I am now. I remember where each used to be years and years ago. Right now on a counter next to me is a brass box that was my grandmother's and was on a desk long ago passed on, an ornate green perfume bottle studded with green jewels around the bottom from another grandmother's bureau which stood in a closet I loved to study, a stuffed dog I think I received in my mid teens, a wooden toy gift my oldest son received when he was born. They've all been packed away and I haven't seen them for years. They clearly aren't who I am today. I want to find homes for them. I think I'll create a little ceremony to thank each one for being a part of my life and then pass them on.

Baruch ata adonai...I've begun a process that feels like a transition from one part of my life to another. May I hold it lightly. May I not make it into a referendum on choices I've made or anything more than the reality that it is time to let some things go. Help me keep it simple. Amen

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