Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Learning to Listen to my Life

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis, all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." Frederick Buechner

Grace isn't a word I grew up with, though the concept is there in my upbringing. I like this definition: blessings that come from above regardless of merit. I like the idea of listening to my life and recognizing all moments are key moments. The trick for me is to hold on to this concept, hold it lightly and recognize that I sleepwalk through my life a good bit of the time and take myself much too seriously. My hands are often grasping my to do list or fisted through tension or anger or sadness and not open in supplication to receive what each day offers. What if today I admitted my life is a fathomless mystery and I went around with my tongue out to taste it, my nose twitching to smell it, and my ears turned inward and outward listening for its hidden heart beating minute to minute no matter how I hold my fists? If I could just hold on to this idea through breakfast, I might know things I've never known before.

Baruch ata my goal is to pay attention to how I hold my hands. May they be open, inviting, relaxed. What could I hear through them if I listened. I'm on the right track, right? Amen

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