January was a whirlwind of travel: the Palm Springs Film Festival, my aunt's 90th birthday celebration, painting in Mexico. Each part was wonderful and taken all together, each only separated by days, it was way too much for me. Until I was brought up short at the mask museum, I had forgotten about my energy body.
Years ago when I practiced Aikido I was very aware of energy fields around me and could feel the integration and collision of my energy with that of others. One day I walked into a rock museum in Mt. Shasta and turned around and walked out. The energy of the place was overwhelming and toxic for me. By the time I sat in the mask museum, I'd forgotten about that phase of my life and was no longer attentive to the impact of energy.
Hundreds of masks lined the walls of each small room. The owner proudly described how he collected them over the years and how each had been in a ceremony. Each had lots of spiritual energy built into it. I wasn't there for long before I was very uncomfortable. I'd had a fairly debilitating cold all week, but that was improving, and then sitting listening to a speaker talk about folk culture, I fainted.
It could have been dehydration, the warm room, the elevation, the dry air, some sort of a heart event. It took me days to realize I had been totally inattentive to myself. I'd made all my plans way ahead of time, so when each event occurred, I just opened the folder, took out the plane tickets and followed the plan I'd set in motion months before. Lots of motion. Lots of getting on and off planes in different states and climates. Lots of being totally unaware of the impact on me.
Baruch ata adonai...I am so relieved to be home: home in my house and home in my body. I will give myself lots of white margins. I will bring back into my life more awareness, intention and grounding. Thank you for keeping me safe and for putting in my path an event which brought my attention back to the fundamentals of my well being. Amen