"It seems we run our lives like trains, speeding along a track laid down by others, going so fast that what we pass blurs on by....The truth is that blurring something is not the same as experiencing it." Mark Nepo
I've done a lot of wonderful things so far this year and we're off again for a few days. Yosemite National Park, three hours from our home, is a world apart. Though it's often packed with travelers, its beauty surpasses most of my desire that everyone else would stay just home. I've been going there since I was a kid and memories of being there as a child, then as a mother, and now again being there as a couple, we went there for a few days during our honeymoon, layer in my heart. Click on this site and imagine I'm living in this miracle for the next few days. http://www.terragalleria.com/photos/?keyword=yosemite-winter
Nevertheless...all those wonderful things come to be and pass quickly. I just closed my eyes and slowed down through the Palm Springs Film Festival, my aunt's ninetieth birthday party in Oregon, my trip to Mexico. I realize that when each event has passed, I move on to the next new thing and don't go back and savor each one again and again. Living in the present moment is an imperative in my life, yet looking back, living in the present moment can feel like being on a speeding train. I'm present with each experience each day, or that's my goal, and then the train moves on. And the years move on. Big fast blurrrrrrrrrrr!
I don't know how to resolve this conundrum. I love my life at home, the dailiness of it, the length of the days. I'm a curious person, and there is so much in this world to taste and smell and see, so much to experience. It isn't that I don't want to miss anything, and there's not much in my past I wish I hadn't done, and I know I'm not alone in this experience, and yet day by day and year by year the train speeds on. That's life: savor and move on. Hold out my tongue and taste the snow. Know I've been so very lucky.
Baruch ata adonai...thank you for health and stamina and the joy of experiencing so much of life. Thank you for the luck of my birth in a country and at a time when so much is possible. Thank you for giving me the gift of observing as I move along. Sometimes I think it must be quite okay not to be so much of a processor, and you've given me this gift along with so much else. I honor it. Thank you for friends and family and of course for Gracie. Amen