Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Shine Some Light on Those What-ifs

"Your desire is your prayer. Picture the fulfillment of your desire now and feel its reality and you will experience the joy of the unanswered prayer." Dr. Joseph Murphy

I think I've used this quote before. It's taped to my computer and it's taped the desk where I draw. I believe in this quote, and yet today, I know I've got a lot of what-if thinking between me and believing the possibility of attaining my desire. Maybe I don't want it enough, yet. Maybe I've got to wade through the swamp grass first. What if someone presented it to me on a golden platter? Would I say a hearty "YES!"or would I ask to think about it for awhile?

I close my eyes and picture Denise laughing and working and being the great hostess in her shared studio near her home outside Boston. It is my takeaway dream from Mexico. But how can I have a rented studio when I have no income stream? How can I have a studio when I can work in my small studio at home, the one that is the walk way between the kitchen and the garden, the one where I can't leave anything out, the one where I have to rearrange the shelves when I shift projects. What would I be saying about myself if I had a studio outside my home? What pressure would I feel to produce so I could cover expenses? What if I didn't like my partners? What if I let it sit there all alone for days on end? Do I really need someplace to go to draw, to paint, to create anything at all? Isn't right here at home in my home studio however limited the best place for now?

Wow! I've pretty well nailed the wet blanket all over that dream! So, that seems to be the first step in dreaming this dream! Now that I've got that out of my system, and I hope it's all out, what if I started picturing the fulfillment of my desire and felt its reality, even felt and pictured the cards I'm developing all finished and sales taking off...but wait. I'm feeling little buds of winglets already. I've never really thought about this dream much before right now. What if I did picture where I wanted it to be and who would be there? Maybe my wings would start flapping away.

Baruch ata adonai...do I want this enough to make it happen or am I just being grandiose? Well, before I talk to you more about it, I want to make sure I really want this. I just better make sure, because I can feel the seductive pull of its reality as I sit here. I'm so glad you are here around me. I imagine you covering your mouth to hide your chuckle. Have a good day. Amen


2 comments:

  1. So, I THOUGHT I left a very clever, funny and wonderful comment here earlier today, but apparently I too am a "baby" at this and while I did indeed type a note, and using the box below, I proved I was NOT a robot, I do not see my message!! So, while I can't remember exactly what I wrote that was cute and inspiring, I do know THIS: You just have to bite the bullet, spit into the wind, cross to the other side of the street, take leap, go out on a limb............and get an outside your home studio!!!! "Just Do It"!!!!!!

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  2. Yes! I play the what if game too. I wonder how much I really want my dream, or how I want to see it played out in my life. I have considered the dream of having an out of the home studio as well, but wonder about all the things you wonder about. I love my home, and I love being in it. But am I in it too much....? These are things I wonder often.

    May you find the direction you want to go in, and then flap away! :-)

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