“To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his or her work for peace.” Thomas Merton
Doing it all, all that multi tasking, all that being on top of mothering, having a job, a social life, a husband with his needs, parents with theirs, volunteering in the community, making cupcakes, created havoc in my inner life and made the rest of me weary and often crazed. Yet when I was in my fifties, OK, you know me, up until very recently, that’s the way I ran my life. Then I wrote about wanting wide white margins and less dense text while juggling five balls and smiling at a sixth just beyond my reach.
I’m not feeling more peaceful now because I’ve gotten smarter. I believe I’m feeling more peaceful because I’ve accomplished the tasks of earlier stages, and have planted my flag in what others might call old age and what I call coming into myself. My life is fairly simple now: family, but not in a day to day way, maintaining mental and physical strength and energy, writing and creating art, spiritual curiosity, and yes, peace. Soon I’ll be dealing more intensely with health issues, my husband's and mine, but for now, I am loving my life and wondering if it would have been possible to come to this point of equilibrium sooner.
Baruch ata adonai...Thank you for brining me to this time of life. I am so grateful. Amen