"When we can free up our sense of needing to arrive in a certain place, we lessen the weight of being lost. And once beneath arriving and beneath our fear of failing to arrive, the real journey begins." Mark Nero
Last year when I set off to paint in San Miguel de Allende with Flora Bowley, I knew my inner judge would stand right behind me (and believe me she doesn't know squat about letting go and painting with joy) with her fists screwed into her hips tsk tsking away. I asked friends to write notes of encouragement to take with me, and I incorporated some of their words into my paintings. I trusted them to help me overcome self doubt and it helped a lot. This year I'm not feeling the need to do that. Yipppeeee! I have a much better grasp on enjoying the painting journey wherever it takes me, even if it circles into insecurity.
The painting process I'll be engaged in involves laying down layer upon layer of undercoating. The first layer which be painted over, but not totally, will be words of encouragement and faith in myself: joy, courage, trust, journey, soar and let go occur to me right now. There will be others.
Baruch ata adonai I have a peace about this adventure that I cherish in this early morning hour. Remind me sliding into the past, passing through the arid desert of not knowing, and shivering with insecurity are all part of the process. Raise the volume on the music of joy, then whisper in my ear feeling lost doesn't mean I am lost. I know I will experience all of that, because painting is a journey and I am a courageous traveler. Amen