"Your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you." The Four Agreements.
This morning my paintings look better than did they when I left them yesterday. Funny how that happens. Today it is my intention to have fun playing with paint, to abandon all judgments, to stay in the present moment. I'm always reminding myself of the same old stuff. It's only paint. It doesn't have to mean so much. It's just paint on canvas. It's not all about me. And on it goes. I need to keep these words loud and clear along with fun, no expectations, no comparing myself with other, and no whining. And it is fun. I'm having a great time and with my cold closer to the end, I'm feeling better today.
Hours and hours later: The internet here is a huge frustration. It's 6:30 PM, I'm at Starbucks now and it's hours since I wrote this blog and I just found out it stayed in draft stage and didn't go out. In the interest of truth, and feeling quite sorry for myself, I want to say that my cold hasn't broken and I feel like poop. I just need to have a quiet little temper tantrum and let you know I'm feeling sorry for myself.
Baruch ata adonai...may I be kind to myself today. May I say the tings I'd like my classmates to say to me. May I have the courage to be free and the elegance of calm acceptance. Today may I be kind to my judgmental side and know she hasn't caught up with the rest of me yet. I embrace her fragility and her desire to do well. Just being here and painting I am already doing well. May I be willing and joyful. And if you can do anything about this cold I'd greatly appreciate it. Amen